Die, Sweetheart, Die is a mystery novel written to draw awareness to this country's growing intimate partner abuse problem. Following is information to encourage those already in an abusive relationship to flee the situation, and for those just entering a relationship to recognize the warning signs and avoid becoming victims of mental and physical violence.  

WHAT IS VAWA?

        On October 11, 2000, the Violence Against Women Act of 2000 was reauthorized for an additional five years as continuation of the Violence Against Women Act of 1994. That re-ratification included funding for more police, prosecutors, battered women’s shelters, and the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The bill also reaffirmed the national commitment to ending domestic violence by adding 3.3 billion dollars in federal funding for transitional housing, measures that focus on women abused in dating relationships, and added assistance for victims of domestic violence—all of which could mean the difference between life and death for thousands of women and their children. Last year, President Bush signed a new Bill into law.

WHAT WILL VAWA DO FOR ME?

        If you are in a relationship and your intimate partner's treatment of you scares you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY line for the hearing impaired) Toll-free from all 50 states, 24-hours a day, 365 days a year. They will help you with an escape plan and put you in touch with psychological counselors, local shelters, and/or law enforcement authorities.

        Below is a list  (by no means complete or in order) of some abuser warning signals to help you identify the SOB.

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Signs Of a Batterer

        Following are some tactics a batterer will use to control and intimidate you from the time you meet throughout the relationship.

 When you meet

A batterer will push for a quick relationship.

He’ll say he’s never felt this way for any woman before.

A batter smothers you with compliments and attention.

He spares no expense. He’s there for you.

3 to 6 weeks into the relationship

A batterer has sudden mood swings—happy one minute, sullen the next.

He abuses alcohol and/or uses illegal drugs, blames others for his failures.

He drills you about where you’ve been or where you’re going. Shows up unexpectedly; stalks you, accuses you of seeing other men.

He has an unstable work history. He borrows and/or steals money from you.

He minimizes your accomplishments.

When you’re out, he causes scenes in restaurants, engages in road rage, speeds, etc.

He expects you to always compromise–see the movie he wants to see, etc.

He stands you up without explanation; he’s gone for long, unexplained periods.

He lies incessantly; you can’t believe a word he says.

He views women in general as whores and bitches.

He flirts with, stares at, and/or overly compliments other women in your presence.

He shows an unusual attachment to or resentment for his mother.

Long-term relationship – escalating violence

He belittles your opinion, criticizes and demeans you, compares you unfavorably to other women.

He gets angry and harps on what made him mad for hours. He has affairs with other women and/or men.

He reads porn, forces you to engage in pornographic acts.

He hates your family and friends and keeps you away from them.

He says you should be grateful he’s with you because he’s the only man who’ll have you.

He hits, kicks, pushes, shoves, twists your arms, threatens to kick your ass.

He keeps you awake nights arguing.

He stays out late—comes home and gets you out of bed to cook for him.

He holds knives to your throat, puts a gun to your head.

He threatens to kill everyone—you, your family, the kids, and then himself.

He threatens to take the kids and disappear.

He chokes, curses, and yanks your hair in front of the children.

He breaks restraining orders, comes to your job; calls you there every five minutes.

He makes your life miserable and keeps you on edge every moment.

If you’ve put up with and/or ignored these or other signals and let the abuse continue by using any or all of the following excuses:

He’s crazy

He’s quick-tempered

He just had too much too drink

He’s been under a lot of stress

I shouldn’t have said what I said

He doesn’t intend to hurt me

Somebody made him mad

I need his support/the kids need a father

I love him and he loves me

He’s always apologizes for what he’s done afterward

God is in the plan. God is testing me. He wants me to grow stronger

 Congratulations! You’re an Enabler!

You are providing the means for your batterer to keep giving you black eyes and bloody noses,

broken arms and cracked ribs, knocked out teeth and busted eardrums.

 You are only a beating away from letting him kill you!

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Many of the above warning signs are set out in the novel Die, Sweetheart, Die. Why not see how many you can find.